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Lee Pitts

California cattleman Lee Pitts provides his brand of humor on issues surrounding the ag industry.

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My nephew and I were in the grocery store the other day when he spied a department store Santa Claus who had just finished his shift. It must have been a hard one, too – because the Santa was buying a bottle of booze.

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The time period leading up to Christmas is my favorite time of year, but as for the big day itself, Santa Claus seems to have lost our address. There are fewer packages under the tree with each passing year, and my wife has taken to wrapping boxes and placing them under the tree so there is something to unwrap Christmas morning.

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The bull business is very competitive, and purebred people play to win. Because there’s a limited number of buyers, breeders spend a fortune on color ads and hire their own field men to exhort ranchers to come to their sale.

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I have an embarrassing admission to make. In my life, I’ve fed, raised and traded thousands of cattle – and yet, as far as I know, I have yet to eat a bite of any of them. I never fed out a home-grown steer or stuffed our freezer with hamburger from an old lump-jaw cow.

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In the May 30 edition of the Auction Exchange, there was an ad celebrating the Midwest Auctioneer Roundup contest in Shipshewana, Indiana.

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Have you ever thought about what you’d like to eat for your last meal?

I sincerely hope not, for that would mean you did something very naughty in a state with the death penalty.

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