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Lee Pitts

California cattleman Lee Pitts provides his brand of humor on issues surrounding the ag industry.

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I have an embarrassing admission to make. In my life, I’ve fed, raised and traded thousands of cattle – and yet, as far as I know, I have yet to eat a bite of any of them. I never fed out a home-grown steer or stuffed our freezer with hamburger from an old lump-jaw cow.

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In the May 30 edition of the Auction Exchange, there was an ad celebrating the Midwest Auctioneer Roundup contest in Shipshewana, Indiana.

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Have you ever thought about what you’d like to eat for your last meal?

I sincerely hope not, for that would mean you did something very naughty in a state with the death penalty.

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I love feeding animals. No, I’m not talking about absentee feeding, where you pay way too much for a load of hard-doing 8-weight chronic steers, send them to a feedyard, get feed bills and death slips every month and sell them on the rail for less than you paid for them to begin with.

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Have you ever noticed how bad luck always travels in threes? I’m warning you, if the cows get out on the road and then the water well goes dry, I’d stay in the house, pull your shades and not answer the phone if I were you. Be very, very careful.

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I’ve learned a few things from cows and cowboys over the years, such as good veterinarians are hardly ever on time.

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