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Lee Pitts

California cattleman Lee Pitts provides his brand of humor on issues surrounding the ag industry.

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It’s been a while (30 years) since I, the god of good taste, answered your many questions regarding what’s in style. It’s quite natural that you’d seek guidance from such a fashion-forward expert as myself.

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I’m often asked by young students what they should study in college in order to become a professional writer. If I was one, perhaps I’d know. Other than the four mandatory years of English in high school, I’ve never taken a writing class in my life. Never.

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I’m sure you’ve read about the VFD. It’s kind of like BVD, bovine viral diarrhea, only VFD is a disease of the bureaucracy. In my opinion, it’s just another in a long line of regulations to fix something that wasn’t broke.

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A rancher must wear proper headgear at all times. He or she only takes off his or her hat in two instances: at a funeral or when soliciting funds from the banker.

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My shrewd buddy Everett came by for a visit today. I haven’t seen him for a while because he’s been hauling stock, driving his John Deere and learning how to operate a backhoe.

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My nephew and I were in the grocery store the other day when he spied a department store Santa Claus who had just finished his shift. It must have been a hard one, too – because the Santa was buying a bottle of booze.

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