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Lee Pitts

California cattleman Lee Pitts provides his brand of humor on issues surrounding the ag industry.

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In the May 30 edition of the Auction Exchange, there was an ad celebrating the Midwest Auctioneer Roundup contest in Shipshewana, Indiana.

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Have you ever thought about what you’d like to eat for your last meal?

I sincerely hope not, for that would mean you did something very naughty in a state with the death penalty.

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I love feeding animals. No, I’m not talking about absentee feeding, where you pay way too much for a load of hard-doing 8-weight chronic steers, send them to a feedyard, get feed bills and death slips every month and sell them on the rail for less than you paid for them to begin with.

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Have you ever noticed how bad luck always travels in threes? I’m warning you, if the cows get out on the road and then the water well goes dry, I’d stay in the house, pull your shades and not answer the phone if I were you. Be very, very careful.

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I’ve learned a few things from cows and cowboys over the years, such as good veterinarians are hardly ever on time.

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Ranch brandings in the future will take on an all-new look thanks to squeamish animal rightists who get ill just thinking about all the despicable things we do to our animals to keep them healthy and safe. PETA and their ilk want you to treat your cattle like humans.

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