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Lee Pitts

California cattleman Lee Pitts provides his brand of humor on issues surrounding the ag industry.

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Despite having lived in, or near, rattlesnake country my entire life, I’ve never known anyone who actually got bit by one, let alone got bit and lived to tell the tale. Until now, that is.

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You can’t pick up an ag publication these days without finding a story on how drones will revolutionize the cow business. Supposedly, they’ll do everything from checking on float valves to spotting a trespassing hunter.

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Among the many things I enjoy about raising animals is watching their interpersonal relationships. If there was such a thing, I think I’d have made a very good cow, sheep, pig or horse psychologist. Wisely, I considered their ability to pay and became a writer instead, which pays only slightly better than a tightwad hog would.

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Being a ranch real estate agent these days must be difficult because they must appeal to two distinct types of buyers. There are the lifestyle buyers, who couldn’t care less about a ranch’s carrying capacity, and then there are the ranchers, who have pulled the wool over their bankers’ eyes and can get financed to buy another place.

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Here is the correct way to load a horse.

1. First, catch your horse. Using apples, carrots and sweet talk, draw it near. When it’s eating out of your hand, rub its neck and attempt to put the lead rope around its neck.

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It’s been a while (30 years) since I, the god of good taste, answered your many questions regarding what’s in style. It’s quite natural that you’d seek guidance from such a fashion-forward expert as myself.

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